my affliction is stupid german vans with tiny engines

towed the rusty stormtrooper out of the way

so the town home owners can see my side of crazy x 3

if you don't know me~ let me tell you my darkest secret, i bought a parts van for my parts van and now~

the future as seen from the plastic wheel covers of 1985~

after i kicked my own ass around the block and back, for not buying that little tan shorty, i crawled under my '85 and finished putting all those stupid bolts back into the CV joints and stopped the van from exploding every ten minutes with fuel fire flash and topped it off with coolant and called Mike to bitch about vanagons and here's what it sounds like~

really sluggy buggy

i walked up to the library in the rain and this is what i saw, i thought this was a Halloween truck at first, so i crossed the street to check it~

nice paintings

don't know what this little cubic hut would have been built for, you couldn't sleep back there~ tools ?

coming back from the library this little sweetie blue VW bug, just popped out at me, so dusty blue and quite well cared for with new plates

but then i notice the canted parking job

the parked in a field black pollution streaks

the crunched up rear fender

and somebody takes playing slug bug/ punch buggy way too far and way too serious

i don't know what it is about this little car but i couldn't stop staring at it~

when we were kids we used to race these out on the frozen lake

1985 parked on my street in fascist colors~ brand new burly bumpers and sticky lettering

if the dirty label residue of John's business failings can be cleaned off this paint job would look crazy hot

i love this van, and. . . and. . . black interior. never saw that before~ or did i just imagine that ~

NE!L~

now i need two

i salvaged the front bumper from my $230.00 parts van ~look at all the road pocks, maybe they towed this thing behind a truck

and removed the rear bumper while i was at it~

this is my front end after i crashed into the Iowa beef truck, and the reason i bought my mint parts van

surprisingly the bumper was crushed but not behind the chrome

new bumper on old crumple face

started pulling parts off the engine, surprise~ the blown out hole is huge

look at the size of that gaping wound, a head shot~

a piece of the carapace, or the skull~shattered

look into the hole~

looks like the connecting rod shattered and rolled around and around the cam until it punched it's way out the roof, so aggro

i stuck my fingers in and pulled out this little greasy plum~somebody used the crankcase as a parts tumbler

looks like a heart, a giant black carbonized muscle

i just had to see it~the hole~ before i drop this mutha out~ bring it into the living room and teach the kids to take things apart~things that smell and are full of oil, gasoline and coolant~ we better buy some shop rags, band aids, and hand cleaner. . .engines, trannys, and fuel line

what the new town home neighbours will have to see ever time they pee~or brush their hair

a bunch of broke down vans and parts of vans and kids screaming dogs barking, and me cursing these giant hands, when i try to pull these cursed machines apart

El Mutante opinioned that this new blue van is too clean to use as a parts van, and now i think, i have to agree but this then leads to more, deeper craziness and the idea that now i need two more parts vans, one for my driver, and the other for my parts van, a nice engine, tranny donor, and i. . . am. . . mad

thanks for viewing~and watching me slide~

is four too many?

N~