Friday, June 19, 2009

my van is going to explode and kill the world

my van stuffed into my driveway at twilight


so i read the Samba nightly- to find out all the things i should be doing to keep my 85 vanagon westy alive and running smooth- and now after months of coursing my way through all of these threads, apparently i've been doing nothing to save my van-


here's my list-




i have never used the correct oil- it seems they've changed the formula of motor oil and we all need to add zndp or some such additive


i have been using the wrong oil filters-we need Mahl with back flow protection to prevent dry starts- and i have never pre-loaded my wrong oil filters either


i'm supposed to have flushed and changed out the coolant every two years- i am now six years behind


have never changed my t-stat


have never bleed and changed my brake fluid, vanagon's are supposed to be changed bi-yearly


i haven't even looked at my brakes


i still have three original tires


i have new fuel lines, but sadly somebody replaced all the clamps incorrectly


wrong air filter, mines all squished up


i have had the wrong distributor cap for months if not years- which may have caused my morning sickness


original shocks, and they feel it
my windshield is cracked in four places and so foggy now, thank you very much Port Angeles kids, with rocks and alcohol stupidity
i still have original head lights without relay, thus making night driving impossible
have never had a working horn, now i just press it and smile, look at the clouds, play with the original radio with only one original working 4" speaker




on the plus side of this equation of neglect the van is really stock and in really clean original condition minus the rear bumper where i found a hidden telephone pole




there, i have confessed my auto-sins- is it too late to begin maintenance or should i just drive it off a cliff. . .


or await the inevitable fuel line explosion, brake failure, coolant rupture, four simultaneous highway speed blowouts, squirrel roll seizure to sudden death ending




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